Online Reflection #2 - Polishing the Stones

Polishing the Stones

Welcome back, my fellow future English educators! Today I'd like to begin by returning to the "castle analogy" of my previous entry.

Imagine that an ideal location for our mighty castle-to-be has been found. However the quality of the materials for the castle are not quite up to snuff. The great stones that will be used to build the castle are dusty and the surface is easily scratched. The renowned architect has studied up on how to properly polish the stones to bring out their intended luster and strength. Yet learning the theory and putting that theory into practice are horses of a different color. The architect attempts to put what he or she has learned to good use, but their skill in repair is not quite there yet.

This represents how I feel about pre-student teaching. I have learned the theories of how to become an effective teacher: from classes, observations in the field, and from texts. Yet when it is time to put those skills into practice, I feel as though I fall short. However it is mainly in one area. One of my favorite texts is The First Days of School, which I continually refer to, and succinctly sums up these factors: "Successful teachers are innovative planners, exceptional classroom managers, adept critical thinkers, and competent problem solvers." (Wong, 2011) 

Innovative planning? I think I do that rather well, if I do say so myself. I try to plan lessons around what the students are interested in. I touched upon this in my first post, with a quote from Mr. Bomer, and the Wongs agree that this is a critical factor not to be dismissed: "Finding out about students is important in an effectively run classroom." (Wong, 2011) I got the chance to teach a short two-day mini-lesson over persuasive techniques, and for the examples I had to think about what would interest the students. I knew that there was a fashion club that a few belonged to. I knew that several of them were interested in video games (again, see post #1!) I knew that over half the class had phones with music on them - and just about everyone likes music. Therefore I made my examples over fashion, video games, and music. They grasped the concepts very quickly and were able to perform to my (high) expectations in both learning and recalling what they learned/reviewing the information the next day. Later on in the unit I got to see their persuasive projects that they presented to the class, and was very pleased.

Yet I digress - let us skip to the third and fourth points.Being an adept critical thinker and a competent problem solver are skills that would probably not be able to be developed solely during an educational instruction curriculum - I am lucky to have parents, teachers, colleagues, and friends throughout my entire life who pushed me and encouraged me to develop these skills. I consider myself to be skilled in these areas, but that isn't quite enough. I can have all the skills in the world but it doesn't matter if I freeze up when it's action time. Which brings me to the last point.

The innovative planning, adept critical thinking, and competent problem solving skills are akin to the architect's skills of knowing how to make a shape plausible, where to build for maximum efficiency and stability, etc. They can be learned! - but it takes a great deal of time and practice to allow them to come to maturity. The final part of the puzzle is the problem area - my classroom management. And this is one of - if not THE - most important areas of being an effective teacher! This is incredibly important - there are ten chapters devoted to this in the Wong text! Unfortunately I do not feel like I am meeting my own expectations or others' in this regard. When it comes time to discipline students I sort of "freeze up." This is embarrassing to admit but it is the truth, and the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.

I mentioned in my previous reflection about how my CT chooses her battles wisely. I have had a chance to observe some other classes of hers - the non-honors classes - and she is more selective with these students. Guys will punch each other in class (without malice, laughing with each other, just trying to nonchalantly be macho for the girls - it's almost sweet in a perverse, low-brow-humor sort of way) and that would not fly in the honors class. I think that I am using these instances as an excuse to myself to avoid having to discipline students. I'll tell myself "Oh, they're not being that loud" or "Well, they're talking about homework" - I'll make excuses for them that in turn allow me to not have to confront them. This is something I need to absolutely work on, and recently it reached a fever pitch.

(The following paragraphs do not list names and the situations has been slightly altered, to protect identities): The students had a test and I was patrolling the classroom, keeping a watch for wandering eyes. One of the guys I noticed was looking at a fellow student's paper - I admit he was very surreptitious about it, only moving his eyes instead of his neck or body. The first time I noticed it I thought to myself "Well, maybe he's just looking somewhere other than his paper and thinking really hard. Sometimes I do that." A few minutes later when I turned around from watching one part of the class I noticed his eyes flicker back once again. I thought to myself "Ok I think he might be trying to cheat, if I see him do it again, I'll have to say something to him about keeping his eyes on his own paper." Then several minutes later I noticed this same student doing the same thing. I steeled myself to go up and quietly whisper "Please keep your eyes on your own paper." But...

I couldn't do it. I froze. I imagined a scenario of him exploding in anger at accusing him. I imagined demands of proof. I imagined my CT chastising me for saying something before I was absolutely sure. I imagined his friends defending him and claiming that his body never moved. I am ashamed that I instead went to the CT and whispered that I saw his eyes wandering multiple times. She went and talked to him about it, and then talked to me about it. She told me that I am, for all intents and purposes when I am in a placement, a teacher, I have authority and need to exercise it or students will walk all over me. My stomach seemed to fall into my feet as my face burned with shame. She told me that I should have immediately, the first time I noticed something, let him know if I see his eyes wandering again that it would be an automatic zero. (Let it be known that my CT was not mean or cruel - she was kind about the whole thing and tried to encourage me. But at that moment a filet mignon of compliments would have tasted like an old shoe.)

I feel optimistic about my classroom management skills when I envision my very own classroom - establishing my expectations and no-nonsense attitude from Day 1. Wong states that "What you do in the first days of school to affect your students will determine your success the rest of the year." (Wong 2011) I feel like my attempts to pick my battles and let things slide have snowballed and now I can't seem to get myself to suddenly discipline students that I've been soft towards. But how important is it to nip cheating in the bud? Absolutely critical! It wasn't all completely horrible, though. After the incident, a few other guys who were done with their test were whispering to each other. I went over and asked them to please be quiet. They did so, but when I walked away, I heard the whispering begin anew. I circled back around and asked them once more to be quiet because I don't want to have to punish them. They were! Another set of students were whispering towards the end of the class period, and I was able to control that by making eye contact with one of them and giving him a tilted-head-raised-eyebrows "Come on, man. Don't make me come over there" sort of look. (This goes back to the idea of using the mildest intervention possible, after all.)

So when it comes to minor infractions I feel as though I am able to usually deal with those. I usually put my finger to my lips and go "Shhh..." I don't have a problem with answering questions and engaging the students. But major things like seeing a student (seemingly) attempt to cheat... that's something I'm going to have to really how to deal with - in reality, not in theory. I'm trying to think of how I can improve in this area. I don't want to become an ogre that suddenly says to myself "Self, I'm not going to let anything slide anymore. No more Mr. Nice Guy." But I feel like I am being Mr. Nice Guy too much of the time. I'm trying to find that middle ground, and when the ground gets too high I panic and can't face it. I'm going to try and mentally focus on my CT telling me that I am a teacher and I have authority, and the successes I have had with classroom management. I am afraid of failure and that is holding me back from wanting to try when I feel the stakes are higher than I am comfortable with. However I am feeling optimistic after getting this all off my chest. This blog is pretty therapeutic! 

My fellow teachers, I implore you to share your struggles or triumphs of classroom management with me. I need all the help I can get. Those stones aren't going to polish themselves, no matter how much I wait or wish for it.

"Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently." - Henry Ford

Resources

          Wong, Harry K., and Rosemary T. Wong. The First Days of School: How to Be an Effective Teacher. 7th ed. Mountainview, CA: Harry K. Wong Publications, 2011. Print.